Why self expression is the key to happiness

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When we express ourselves, we shout to the world, “This is who I am, this is what I have to say, this is what I can do!”

You and I like to believe that we have a consistent sense of self, but it’s in constant flux. Our desires, opinions, wants and needs are always changing. When we’re unable to express ourselves, we lose our identity. We forget who we are, what we care about and what the hell we want to do on this mad little rock floating through the void!

I’m a terrible thinker — forgetful, flippant, love to use a generality or two. It’s not until I’m forced to truly clarify what I think do I realise what I’m trying to say in the first place. You’ll never know who you are until you’re able to pinpoint it — and that can only occur with continued exploration through self expression.

But self expression can only be achieved by YOU. Your uniqueness is a blessing and a curse. You can’t blindly follow other people’s paths by copying their ideals and opinions. Their destinations may bring them joy but could make you miserable.

It doesn’t help that everyone desperately wants you to follow their path! “Look at me, I’ve found the keys to happiness! Pay me $699 I’ll show you how to find it too!”, they shout in their TED talks, Twitter threads and Ebooks. You want to be rich, right? You want to be beloved by everyone! You want fame! Glory! Right?! RIGHT?!

It’s tempting to conform because expressing the real you is scary. It’s far easier to try and be somebody else. It offers a sense of safety — somebody else has already made it, you’re just following the blueprints.

But safe is boring…and you’re not boring.

I spent most of my life trying to be like other writers and it lead me to create stuff that felt pastiche-y and empty. The blueprints I followed built me a house I hated. It’s only since I’ve begun to explore what I want to say, rather than what will resonate with the most people, has this entire writing experience fallen into place. It’s messier, blurrier and harder to define — but it’s me.

Here’s the secret: nobody knows what they’re doing. They keep trying stuff until it works. Ignore the people who say that they have the answers. Life is formless. There is no universally correct way to exist. The faster you accept that, the faster you’ll find the right existence for you. Let your creativity guide the way.

If you don’t know where you’re going or who you want to be, maybe it’s time to express yourself and start exploring. Only you have the answers.

Peace,

—Jacob

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